How to handle hostile comments which imply I'm making mistakes?
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I'm a senior software dev at a new job. Company has fewer than 30 employees. As I write this post, I've just finished my second day of work.
Most everyone is also very experienced. They're friendly and welcoming except one senior (but not above me) co-worker: each day, he's written something to me publicly on a message board which was demeaning or hostile. (We work remotely.)
Day 1: I commented on an issue I've been assigned and mention that I'm thinking about how to test for it; that I don't see tests for the function I need to modify, and I have an idea. He replies:
there are clearly tests for this - file
xxxx_yyyy.z.
He apologizes a little later because he realized he hadn't yet merged in the branch with those tests.
Day 2: I found that the test suite requires over an hour to run. I have a morning conversation on a message board w/ another co-worker about what could be done, and he tells me about an improved test setup that I can use. I thank him. Then, the problem co-worker arrives at work, and adds the comment:
We already have (improved test setup) in place
So use it
The only pattern I can see is that both issues have to do with our software tests.
I don't know how to handle this because,
- That last sentence, "So use it", is way over the line for rudeness. For me, it's a conversation ender, not starter. I don't think a person who says that is "available" as a partner to work things out.
- I've seen something similar at a previous job: a manager who continually thought I hadn't done my assigned task, although I had, and had communicated it to her in her preferred channels. She simply accused first, and read later. I imagined that she built up this incorrect image of me as unreliable. And this co-worker at the present company seems to have the same quirk.
- He's not my supervisor, but he's influential in the company, and has leadership roles.
My first idea was to Skype with him and let him know that I find his language "a little rough".
A good friend disagrees, though, and says "if I'm really bothered", then I should go to my boss and present in an easygoing manner. Try to figure out if he has a reputation for being "rough" like this.
I feel like I'm being hazed or groomed for abuse. And that this influential person is developing a negative internal image of me for no good reason.
Should I talk to my boss?
professionalism colleagues
asked 20 mins ago
The CodergatorThe Codergator
355
add a comment |
I'm a senior software dev at a new job. Company has fewer than 30 employees. As I write this post, I've just finished my second day of work.
Most everyone is also very experienced. They're friendly and welcoming except one senior (but not above me) co-worker: each day, he's written something to me publicly on a message board which was demeaning or hostile. (We work remotely.)
Day 1: I commented on an issue I've been assigned and mention that I'm thinking about how to test for it; that I don't see tests for the function I need to modify, and I have an idea. He replies:
there are clearly tests for this - file
xxxx_yyyy.z.
He apologizes a little later because he realized he hadn't yet merged in the branch with those tests.
Day 2: I found that the test suite requires over an hour to run. I have a morning conversation on a message board w/ another co-worker about what could be done, and he tells me about an improved test setup that I can use. I thank him. Then, the problem co-worker arrives at work, and adds the comment:
We already have (improved test setup) in place
So use it
The only pattern I can see is that both issues have to do with our software tests.
I don't know how to handle this because,
- That last sentence, "So use it", is way over the line for rudeness. For me, it's a conversation ender, not starter. I don't think a person who says that is "available" as a partner to work things out.
- I've seen something similar at a previous job: a manager who continually thought I hadn't done my assigned task, although I had, and had communicated it to her in her preferred channels. She simply accused first, and read later. I imagined that she built up this incorrect image of me as unreliable. And this co-worker at the present company seems to have the same quirk.
- He's not my supervisor, but he's influential in the company, and has leadership roles.
My first idea was to Skype with him and let him know that I find his language "a little rough".
A good friend disagrees, though, and says "if I'm really bothered", then I should go to my boss and present in an easygoing manner. Try to figure out if he has a reputation for being "rough" like this.
I feel like I'm being hazed or groomed for abuse. And that this influential person is developing a negative internal image of me for no good reason.
Should I talk to my boss?
professionalism colleagues
asked 20 mins ago
The CodergatorThe Codergator
355
add a comment |
I'm a senior software dev at a new job. Company has fewer than 30 employees. As I write this post, I've just finished my second day of work.
Most everyone is also very experienced. They're friendly and welcoming except one senior (but not above me) co-worker: each day, he's written something to me publicly on a message board which was demeaning or hostile. (We work remotely.)
Day 1: I commented on an issue I've been assigned and mention that I'm thinking about how to test for it; that I don't see tests for the function I need to modify, and I have an idea. He replies:
there are clearly tests for this - file
xxxx_yyyy.z.
He apologizes a little later because he realized he hadn't yet merged in the branch with those tests.
Day 2: I found that the test suite requires over an hour to run. I have a morning conversation on a message board w/ another co-worker about what could be done, and he tells me about an improved test setup that I can use. I thank him. Then, the problem co-worker arrives at work, and adds the comment:
We already have (improved test setup) in place
So use it
The only pattern I can see is that both issues have to do with our software tests.
I don't know how to handle this because,
- That last sentence, "So use it", is way over the line for rudeness. For me, it's a conversation ender, not starter. I don't think a person who says that is "available" as a partner to work things out.
- I've seen something similar at a previous job: a manager who continually thought I hadn't done my assigned task, although I had, and had communicated it to her in her preferred channels. She simply accused first, and read later. I imagined that she built up this incorrect image of me as unreliable. And this co-worker at the present company seems to have the same quirk.
- He's not my supervisor, but he's influential in the company, and has leadership roles.
My first idea was to Skype with him and let him know that I find his language "a little rough".
A good friend disagrees, though, and says "if I'm really bothered", then I should go to my boss and present in an easygoing manner. Try to figure out if he has a reputation for being "rough" like this.
I feel like I'm being hazed or groomed for abuse. And that this influential person is developing a negative internal image of me for no good reason.
Should I talk to my boss?
professionalism colleagues
asked 20 mins ago
The CodergatorThe Codergator
355
I'm a senior software dev at a new job. Company has fewer than 30 employees. As I write this post, I've just finished my second day of work.
Most everyone is also very experienced. They're friendly and welcoming except one senior (but not above me) co-worker: each day, he's written something to me publicly on a message board which was demeaning or hostile. (We work remotely.)
Day 1: I commented on an issue I've been assigned and mention that I'm thinking about how to test for it; that I don't see tests for the function I need to modify, and I have an idea. He replies:
there are clearly tests for this - file
xxxx_yyyy.z.
He apologizes a little later because he realized he hadn't yet merged in the branch with those tests.
Day 2: I found that the test suite requires over an hour to run. I have a morning conversation on a message board w/ another co-worker about what could be done, and he tells me about an improved test setup that I can use. I thank him. Then, the problem co-worker arrives at work, and adds the comment:
We already have (improved test setup) in place
So use it
The only pattern I can see is that both issues have to do with our software tests.
I don't know how to handle this because,
- That last sentence, "So use it", is way over the line for rudeness. For me, it's a conversation ender, not starter. I don't think a person who says that is "available" as a partner to work things out.
- I've seen something similar at a previous job: a manager who continually thought I hadn't done my assigned task, although I had, and had communicated it to her in her preferred channels. She simply accused first, and read later. I imagined that she built up this incorrect image of me as unreliable. And this co-worker at the present company seems to have the same quirk.
- He's not my supervisor, but he's influential in the company, and has leadership roles.
My first idea was to Skype with him and let him know that I find his language "a little rough".
A good friend disagrees, though, and says "if I'm really bothered", then I should go to my boss and present in an easygoing manner. Try to figure out if he has a reputation for being "rough" like this.
I feel like I'm being hazed or groomed for abuse. And that this influential person is developing a negative internal image of me for no good reason.
Should I talk to my boss?
professionalism colleagues
professionalism colleagues
asked 20 mins ago
The CodergatorThe Codergator
355
asked 20 mins ago
The CodergatorThe Codergator
355
edited 15 mins ago
The Codergator
asked 20 mins ago
The CodergatorThe Codergator
355
asked 20 mins ago
The CodergatorThe Codergator
355
asked 20 mins ago
The CodergatorThe Codergator
355
355
add a comment |
add a comment |
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